I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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