maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize