Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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