Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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