At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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