Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
