She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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