Where is the hickey?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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