I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
