He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
