Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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