when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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