i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
