Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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