are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
