How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just forgot I was standing up.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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