He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
