escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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