i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize