Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
