What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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