If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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