The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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