i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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