My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
