I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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