I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
