Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't put those talents on a resume
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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