Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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