this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
