So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
