One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
