Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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