Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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