At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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