yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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