So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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