I can text with my tongue
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize