So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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