I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
