I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
