if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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