...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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