I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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