I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
