Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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