May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
