Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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