There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
