i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
