Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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