the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
