ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
