He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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