I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
