? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
