They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
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The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
They are going to name an STD after you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything