This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
