the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize