I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
