I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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