i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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